Hi there. Hoda here to bestow some wisdom upon you. I apologize for not posting in several weeks. Life got the best of me! And apparently my friends got the best of me too because I’ve been getting bullied to post for weeks.
I think this is something that needs to be addressed so, listen up! You do not need to get a year older, be getting married, or get knocked up (after marriage) to have a party and celebrate. And if anyone tells you otherwise tell them Hoda said to go kick rocks. AND if someone tells you getting a promotion is not a reason to throw a party with a dope cake tell that fool they ain’t know nothing about life and to get lost (which is actually a double negative and means they know everything about life- but I’m just trying to be a gangster, let me have this moment- I went to a Jay Z concert so I feel like I finally have some street cred over here).
Every and anyone who knows me knows that I love to throw a good party. For my college graduation shindig I had a dance floor and a DJ- just ’cause I’m a boss and love to have a good time. So, when my cousin visited from New Orleans over Thanksgiving and brought me back a gorgeous masque (conveniently- two weeks after I got the first promotion of my career) I knew I had to throw a party to celebrate (the promotion- not the masque).
So, I threw this dope “Gossip Girl Inspired Masquerade Ball”- in my living room a few weeks after the New Year. I invited all the awesome females in my life, mama dukes hooked it up with food. There was music, red wine glasses filled with cider and some fancy lights and candles. There was also a gorgeous cake. More on the cake in a bit. The ladies had an excuse to get dressed up, there was a lot of laughter, eating, little bit of dancing and a toast given by me. Overall, it was a good time, it’s always nice to gather around with good company, I think everyone should do it. Especially when you are spending time with people you love who also happen inspire you! But more importantly, it’s an essential part of life to celebrate. We celebrate birthdays, marriages, some (strange) people even celebrate divorce. So why not celebrate other events in your life that you’re actually proud of, things that are not typical. If you can find a reason to celebrate I empower you to do so. And make sure when you celebrate there is a lot of laughter involved, it helps heal the soul, trust me on this. I’m basically a professional laugher. I love to laugh.
The cake. Back to the cake. The day after my party, which was a Sunday, I went to the Islamic school that I teach kindergarten at. I brought in the leftover cake to save my expanding waistline and my diabetic father from major setbacks. I placed the cake on the table in the teacher’s room and stepped out into the hallway to chat with the cool teenage girls that volunteer there. This creepy old man (who scares me and all the other young women) followed me out and excitedly asked:
Creepy Old Man: “What are we celebrating? Do you have good news?”
Me: “Yea, I do, I got a new position at work, I got a promotion” *smiles*
Creepy Old Man: “Oh. oh, I thought you had good news…I thought you got engaged or something”
Me: *on the verge of pimp slapping him* “Well, this is good news, I worked really hard for this, I’m happy, it’s a really big accomplishment”
This fool went on to give me some bogus “statistic” claiming that 9 out of 10 women would be happier if something positive happens at home, like getting married or having a baby, as opposed to the work place. I pretty much tuned him out when I realized what he was doing. He was belittling my accomplishment and trying to steal my happiness. It was basically like he stole a giant ice cream cone I was about to bite into right out of my hand. It was really traumatic.
Now, I would love to put up my front and act like I wasn’t upset to keep my street cred but I am going to go ahead and admit that this comment really got to me. Part of me thought that this backward, bogus way of thinking was something of the past. That our Muslim communities were becoming forward-thinkers and didn’t base major life events on reproduction or marriage and that a woman could be celebrated for advancing her career. Well, I guess not. I guess there are people who still think that a woman’s place is in the home and that her life accomplishments are irrelevant if they don’t revolve around or lead to, baby-making.
There will be readers who look at this and think: “wow, is she seriously comparing a promotion to giving life?!” Yea, yupp. I am. This is my blog and I can write whatever I want. And most of my readers are my friends, my married friends with adorable babies who I celebrate because many of them are working women with kids and a husband and that ain’t no joke. Now, let me tell you, why, to me, a promotion was pretty much like having a baby:
- I am not having a real baby anytime soon
- My Job is actually my longest relationship (besides my relationship with my blackberry: 5+ years!)
- My Job has made me cry
- My Job has made me laugh until I cried
- My Job has kept me up at night
- My Job gives me mild anxiety
- I worry about my Job
- I love my Job, almost unconditionally (almost)
- There have been times I wanted to beat my Job
- I would never beat my Job (in public)
- I would never abandon my Job
- Some people think I obsess over my Job (I do)
- The people at my Job have become my family because I didn’t choose them (which means some days I can’t stand them)
- I have watched my Job evolve and mature into a career, much like a proud mom
On a more serious note. I think we sometimes take for granted great things that happen in our lives. I think we should spend more time celebrating and being happy about things that are near and dear to our hearts rather than being stuck in a mindset that you’re only significant if you’re celebrating marriage or a new life. Let’s celebrate the next time we get a new car, or when we get a big promotion at work. Let’s celebrate one another’s company and just find a reason to celebrate life in general. Let’s not continue to be that backward-thinking society, or creepy old man, let’s make sure women feel empowered and stop asking them why they aren’t reproducing or married. It’s really so rude. Don’t be rude.
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