Tonight I am writing to address a serious matter. I want to first take a moment to apologize for this unforeseen hiatus I took from posting. Some of you may already know this but I have been super busy. I have a full time job being awesome and a part time job being a bish. No but for real, I have had two posts lined up that just needed editing but for some reason I didn’t feel passionate enough about them to post for the world to see. Tonight I had the urge to write and since my friends have threatened to unfriend me in real life if I don’t post something/anything here it goes…
I want to talk about this “busy” word everyone keeps throwing around. I am under the impression that folks these days take the idea of being busy as something glamorous, something you should aim to be. The busier you are the better you are. Well. That’s all bull, being busy is a cop out, a sign that you have poor time management skills, poor prioritization and most importantly you are just straight up rude if you keep telling people how “busy” you are. When you tell someone you’re “busy” it just means that you feel they are irrelevant and you don’t respect them as a human being. Am I being dramatic? Good. I didn’t make the first word of this blog “dramatic” for nothing..
When someone tells me they were too “busy” to call me back all I really hear is “I don’t care about your existence” #sorrynotsorry. I am the first to admit it. I won’t answer texts when I see them because I feel like I owe it to people to give them my undivided attention. BUT. I will ALWAYS respond, eventually, even if its 4am in the morning. You bet your sweet ass if you reach out to me I will get back to you in due time. It’s the right thing to do and I am all about doing the right thing.
Anyone who knows me will say it. I am literally the #busiestgirlintheworld. Between work, commuting 3 hours a day, part time grad school, family, friends, volunteering as a teacher on Sundays and getting 3-5 workouts in a week I sometimes forget what sleep is and what it’s like to have nothing to do. Sometimes the pressure I am under makes me want to crack but I guess I’m too busy to realize *sarcasm*. One thing that I can say I am proud of is the fact that when someone needs me, calls me or texts me I am always there. And even if I have a million things on my plate I will MAKE the time. And that my friends, is the problem so many of us have. We (you) use busy as a cop out without realizing that you don’t “have” time, you have to literally “MAKE” time. Make time to spend with people you care about, make time to call an old friend to talk, make time to take your friend to brunch for their birthday, make time to sit with your mom and drink tea even when you’ve had a ridiculously long day at work, sat in traffic for eternity and just want to collapse in bed. If you don’t MAKE the time for these things you will let life pass you by with no fond memories to look back on. Do you really want to look back 25 years from now and realize you forgot to live because you were busy being “busy”?
Story time: A few weeks ago I called my friend on the way home from work just to talk. I had planned to hit the gym and even had my clothes in the car with me, one thing led to another and I ended up FaceTiming with her and ditching the gym to go over and see her and her perfect, adorable munchkin son. We ate pizza, talked about life, love and the pursuit of happiness, gave her cutie son a bath and put him to bed. #PerfectNight It was the best decision I made in a long time. I missed a work out, got home later than usual on a work night, but it was absolutely, positively exactly what I needed on a random Wednesday.
Call me crazy but, okay, don’t call me crazy, I get offended. But seriously, when you want to do something you make time. You are never too busy to do something you want to do. You make time for the relationships in your life that matter. For family, for friends, for things you enjoy doing. Stop getting wrapped up in the stigma that being busy is something glamorous or makes you more important. It’s not. It’s actually sad if you’re too busy to respond to a text or return a phone call. Actually, you know what? It’s not sad, it just makes you a rotten person. What if that phone call could be the ONLY reason someone will smile today? Do you feel awful about yourself yet? Good. You should.
I’m no expert on self help. I suffer from anxiety myself and I am pretty horrible at managing my time. I usually make up for the time I lost living my life by not sleeping (kinda like I’m doing right this second). Now that I think about it, I probably suffer from anxiety due to lack of “free time” because I’m “SOOOO Busy” *note sarcasm here*. Seriously though, I do think we need more time to ourselves. Time to reflect, to relax. The time I spend in perfect peace, for me, it’s writing or chillin’ with my mom even if we sit in silence is the best “me” time I can get. Try it sometime, it’s dope.
I hate being busy, did I mention that? I always stop myself when I am about to tell someone I care about how “busy” I am. We are all busy in our own ways. What we need to learn to do is prioritize. I won’t say manage time, because anyone can manage their time with a planner or an iPhone calendar, what we need to do is prioritize. Yes, we have a work deadline, yes, we have a final to prepare for, yes, we haven’t done laundry in 3 weeks and are running dangerously low on undies BUT- it’s unhealthy to not take breaks and focus on ourselves for a little. Call a good friend, chat, tell someone we appreciate them and tell them how much we care about them. When we show gratitude for others we feel happier. Trust me. I’ve tried it. You should too. Take the time out of your day to LIVE.
As long as you keep saying you’re too busy you are going to start believing it, and then you will never find happiness, inner peace or true love. Alright, maybe I’ve dramatized that a bit, but you get what I mean.
Stop being rude and using the word busy as a cop out to not make time for people or things. “Sorry it took me three days to respond to your text, I was so busy being a rude jerk”. <— That’s what you sound like, jerk. Please show some common courtesy and class, don’t take people for granted. Even Beyonce makes time to returns calls and texts, I would know. You should make the time too. Now excuse me while I listen to Tupac and drink my Tazo Zen tea.
Stay Humble folks.
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